In Defense of "Easy IVF"

When our friend Abbie posted a video about her "easy IVF journey," I braced for the comments. And look, I get it. For a lot of people, those two words in the same sentence feel like a contradiction at best and a gut punch at worst. 

But here's the thing: she's not wrong.

I've had two completely different IVF experiences. The first time, I got pregnant with twins on my second transfer with untested embryos. The second involved multiple failed transfers, two miscarriages, and a moment where I genuinely almost gave up. I've been on both sides of this thing, which is maybe why Abbie's video didn't bother me at all.

Because what I always come back to is this: for a lot of people, IVF isn't actually the hardest part. It's everything that comes before it. The timed intercourse. The IUIs. The Clomid (oh my god, the Clomid). The months of trying things that feel less invasive but somehow take more out of you, because you're doing them while still holding onto the idea that maybe you won't need the big thing.

And then you do the big thing, and sometimes you find out you're stronger than you thought.

IVF is brutal for some people. Really, truly brutal. I know that firsthand. But giving someone a reason to hope that maybe — just maybe — it'll be easier than they feared? That's not toxic positivity. That's just leaving the door open.

We could all use a little more of that.